I have decided that I am completely content with the situation as it is. I just understand that although I may not ever be "in a relationship" with you, I still want you to be an important part of my life. I mean you still are, aren't you? We still talk and it feels as if nothing has changed....

I want to be really good friends and be able to talk to you and vice versa. I really value your friendship and although I sometimes would like it to be more than that, if the Lord does not will it, I want to follow His plan for my life...

With that said, I will get back to doing nothing i guess.

Tomorrow I am going to go to the store to get ingredients for my homemade salsa and possibly get sparkling grape juice.

Whether I have to work or not, tomorrow night is going to be GREAT!!!!

:D

Old people make me mad sometimes.

Old people that need to retire really irk me! If you can't remember something so simple, then stop working!!!!! Oh and it really irritates me when people specifically ask you a question and then they don't even listen to the answer. It would have been better to NOT ask the question to begin with!! URG!

Ok, so now that my rant is over.....

I  am also a bit irked that I am going to have to work Friday night. I am hoping that it will only be until 7 or so. I mean it's not that big of a deal and I knew there was a possiblilty I would have to work, but it is irritating that no one finds it to be important or pressing. You know people, I have a life!!!!!

Ok so maybe my ranting wasn't over....

anyway, I am now going to tell you of the grand deals I got while in Branson with Karasyn. I only have a couple of pictures, but I will upload them as I get them. :)

1) The first bargain I found was some jewelry at PacSun. I got a really cool necklace and then everything in their store was buy one get one 75% off!! So I got some really cute bobby pins!!!

2) My second bargain was at Old Navy, if I remember correctly...

I got two really cute water bottles, one for my cousin and one for me. They were only THREE dollars!!! I only took a picture of the one for me though :)

Also at Old NAvy I found a really cute butterfly dress!! And the straps were a little long so I sewed them up!!!! It was like my third sewing project and I did it all by myself!!! I am very excited to wear it to church Sunday night!

3) The third good bargain I got was at Victoria's Secret. It was a gift set of five different body sprays. It was on sale for 40% off!

4) The last one I can think of is my ten dollar purse from Charlotte Russe. It was originally 32.50 and on sale for 10 bucks!! It has a lot of pockets too!!!! It's super cute!

Well, I had a great time while in Branson and found many a bargain and I am excited for the new year.

:)

And Karasyn, I don't find it annoying when you talk about Tyler. He is a really amazing person and I am so glad you found him! I won't say that I'm not jealous sometimes, but I am completely happy for you. And I consider him a great friend too! :) I can't wait to help you plan your wedding!!!! (If you let me, that is lol)

BEST DAY EVER!!!

I now feel like I am an adult!!! Karasyn and I went to Branson for two days......all. by. ourselves. Yes, that's right!! By ourselves!!! It was so much fun!!!!!!! I had the most amazing time of my life and I feel completely refreshed.

Back in like September or October we said we were going to, and I am completely surprised we stayed with it! But it was seriously the best two days of my life! And Friday night is going to rock. By the way, my mom was really happy you guys asked her to come too! I am glad, because last year was really depressing for her....

Anyway, I will tlak about my bargain purchases later. For now, some Wii and Days of Our Lives. :)

I just wanted to check in and let you know, for anyone out there that you are awesome and i like you!!!

:D Happy December 28th!!!!

finally

i have everything for christmas bought. i have one lat minute thing i need to find, but other than that, i am good to go. i just need to finish making some of it. :/

so this book I'm reading is really awesome. thank you karasyn for suggesting it to me :) it has opened my mind to a really neat perspective of myself. anyway, i am super excited for tomorrow. i mean, who isn't? sunday i may need to do some last minute things, and i hope i can leave work early.

tonight: christmas eve service at antioch and our tradition of eating at ziggie's afterward. then to come home and finish our christmas eve ritual of reading 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and The Christmas Story. And then to bed. And wait for Santa to come!!! :)

well, i need to go finish up making some gifts. Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!

despite the raging mood swings, I am feeling quite happy today. I really like my new boss. Yesterday he asked me if I wanted to work today because I am not working on Christmas Eve just to make up some hours. That made my day! I was going to be all by myself anyway, so why not? Anyway today I got some pretty fresh flowers and a cool tote bag from a nice lady at work and from my boss a candle and chocolate!!! YAY! I really love my job. I do! It's so easy and even the work isn't hard.

My Christmas is going to rock!

I am also reading a great book that Karasyn recommended to me. The title is Captivating. I am excited to read it, I think it will be very good for me.

Well, I have to do some laundry and get ready for tonight. Singing to the old people!!

Why is it I always fall for the guy who is in to astronomy?

you wretched fool!!!

i can't believe you have already said that to her!!!! You guys are like 12!!!! Well, not really but practically!!

it is never going to last. you don't talk. you don't see each other. i mean good grief you can't even drive.

i'm not sure i can handle a whole lot more. i don't even feel like i can talk to you anymore. like its against the law now. thats why i was afraid about the other day, but that was really fun. now i can't stop thinking about what it meant to you and how it meant somethings else to me. i can't handle this anymore. maybe i should be honest, but look where that got me last time. absolutely nowhere.

im done. i can't even look at you anymore. i thought i could handle it, but i can't. i absolutely hate the thought of you with her.


i'm sorry. i want nothing more in the world, than for you to be happy, but i don't have to watch you be happy with her. i will walk away, and pretend nothing ever happened. that i never knew you. the end.

why is it that i feel so much like hope brady?

Tonight was good for me.

I think i'm finally ok with this. i am so ready for friday. last final. last day of school. first evening of break. i am so ready.

today is the first day i stop regretting anything. i cant necessarily say that i am happy about things, but i am not mad or upset anymore. i am indifferent. not in denial. just dont care. i dont care. you do what you want with your life, its not up to me. im cool with whatever. i have chosen my path. im going to be in school for like ever and you are a disfreakintraction. i dont need you. wait. i take that back. i do need you, i just dont need us to be together or anything. i want to be friends and i have accepted it as that. that is all. i have decided thats best.

maybe thats my deal. it a control issue? nah! lol well, i am really excited for friday and i cant wait for my final to be over!!!! and i cant wait to get my dress and for the party! its going to be a blast!!! :) VERY EXCITED!!!!! Oh and did i mention i don't have to work friday?!?!?!?! :D I'm pretty happy today!!!!

i am excited again.

i have moved on from sad, depressed, mad, angry, hurt, accepting, denying, joking, forgiving, and now back to excited.

welcome to the rollercoaster that is brianna's emotions. bet you didn't even know ;)


chem final tomorrow, better study.

i went a whole day without logging into facebook or blogger!!

I was really busy at work yesterday. Fortunately it meant that I got a lot done and was not distracted by the internet. Unfortunately though I did not progress on any of my homework, but today i have nothing!!!! I don't have to go to school, or work, or church, or ANYWHERE!!! I have the entire day to finish homework, studying, laundry, and finishing up some more Christmas things!! :) I am really happy today. I have decided that this is going to be a really happy week :D I am going tomorrow to get my hair cut and colored and i'm a bit nervous but very excited for a change. I hope it turns out good. So i am half way done with two papers and now i only have to finish them and study for chemistry and spanish and my semester is DONE! And then the party, which I have decided is going to be a joyous occasion because i work with really funny and nice people, and my favorite grandparents will be there. Also, today there will be a new episode of HAWAII FIVE-O!!! I love that show!!!! Steve McGarret is a HOTTIE!!  :)


And in a little bit my mom and i are going to finish up a little bit christmas shopping and hopefully we can go to lunch or something. This morning I took my little brother to get breakfast and to school so he didn'thave to ride the bus with his wretched bus driver lol and i have already started my laundry so i am good to go! So now I must leave you and finish up some paper writing while listening to my christmas pandora station!

Happy finals week everybody!!! :)

i miss my friends :(

if you like me check yes, if you don't i'll die

makes me think of sophomore year. my first job at the greenhouse. driving. first year in band. only year in choir. first year in sys. it was a year for firsts. i don't know what brought that up, but sometimes i just can't remember a lot of things from school and it makes me think i have memory issues. hmm...

oh well. i only have a small amount of time left. i am so ready to go home. being alone today was not fun. not in the mood i'm in. i need something to cheer me up. i have been thinking about the new year. what's my resolution going to be? i don't know. i kind of did a new month resolution at the beginning of december. i gave up soda and have been soda free for 10 days now. i didn't crave a soda until today, but i didn't give in. i didn't realize how often i drink soda. it's pretty bad. oh well, another resolution would be to focus on growing in faith. well, i better get off here and clean the bathroom (ICK!) and lock up.


I'm listening to: I Get A Kick Out of You by Frank Sinatra <3

i hope

that i am right...

so i will be looking for an escape tonight. although i will be at work, i think that homework will be the only thing that will get me away from this sad, sad day. it's kind of funny really in a depressing way. i will just be so happy to get this semester out of my way. i thought this way going to be a changing point in my life. college was a new start. well, in some ways it was. some, it wasn't. i am so impatient i'm not sure if this medical school thing is going to work. i'm not sure i can wait 11 years. at least not here. i think i need to get away. just by myself. like finding myself.

i was going to go to medical school in Columbia, but now I think I might apply at some obscure places like New York or maybe Colorado. Colorado is pretty. I just feel so blocked in. I can't escape. I want to be able to have my own place and clean it when i want, or skip dinner when i want and not have my family around me every second. I want to find my place in the world.

as much as i hate the concept of being a career woman, i am pretty sure that's all i have right now. i guess i better just focus on school. goodbye social life after christmas. i gotta crack down and do my best. i don't think anyone would want a slacker performing eye surgery on them, so i guess i will stop slacking now.

thank you, and goodnight. yeah right.

i am going to be happy and i'm going to like it!!!! :D see. i'm happy. what? you don't believe me. well, don't worry about it cause i can take care of myself and i'm done for now. i promise i won't bring it up again.

so today is going to be an easy day. all we are doing in spanish is reviewing for our final and the same in chemistry. we're just watching presentations in alpha and then lunch with kelsey and josh for the last time
:( looking back, this semester has been pretty close to amazing. i haven't had too many problems in school, i have met a ton of really cool people, and i have learned who my true friends are. you know the ones who actually talk to me and want to hang out and care about me. also, i joined some cool groups like orchestra and commuter student organization. i have gotten good grades and i liked most of my professors. i have learned a lot and i am not letting one little thing bring me down, cause i truly believe that my epiphany was true. it was preparing me for this. sometimes we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, so we better enjoy every minute of today. sounds like a plan to me. :)


another small coincidence was that i started giving violin lessons to this girl from reed last week. no that's not the coincidence, just listen. well, my mom was home this week during the lesson and she was like, "i know them!!" this little girl's grandma brings her. her grandma was this guy's mother who was best friends with my aunt. and totally knew him!! and so it was this girl's uncle and apparently my mom had met her before!! it was funny cause it's such a small world.

so i had another dream about my stupid dress!!! this time it wasn't hideous like the last time. last time it had big poofy sleeves and a bunch of extra ugly things. this time instead of a bunch being added to it, it was ttaken away. she had made it this really skimpy dress with a low neck line and stuff. i don't know why i keep having that dream, but it's just getting wierd now. then, while i was at school i had to go to the bathroom and the entire bathroom, the floor and everything was tilted at a 45 degree angle. it was so wierd!!!!! i couldn't even walk in!!!! my mind is such a wierd place LOL :)

well,  I guess i will get ready to go to school. work tonight. i will write those papers then, and i will probably post some more here cause it's all that keeps me sane lol ;)

actually i really love my job. i know i make a lot of jokes about it, but i do have a good job. it's a  job where i can actually make a difference. i'm not saying that other people don't, but i feel like i can make more of a difference there than if i worked, say at mcdonalds. i love the people i work with. they are great. i like working with people in general. the visitation we had the other night made me realize this. i can make a REALLY hard time in their life just a little bit easier and give them a keepsake of their loved ones that will last forever. the other night we had a visitation for this guy who was younger than me and his grandma came up to me and said that the people who answer the phones just have the sweetest voices and that really made a difference. it was super sweet and made me realize that the smallest little detail can make a difference in their day, and that i need to be more observant like that. i really feel like my job is a service to others and that i canmake a difference.

well, now that ihave killed about half an hour, i guess i will go get ready :)

thank you to everyone who reads this! :)
i appreciate you! <3

i'm so sick of my life at this point.

it's too soon to be excited about my career. i have no life. my life consists of school and working. my freakin' weekends belong to greenlawn. the one day i have off is now ruined. completely. i hope we do have something cause i don't even want to go now. this happens every dang year. i have been trying so hard to grow in my relationship with god and it seems to be getting me nowhere, farther even.


i feel like i have no place in this world. sometimes i just wonder where i'm going in life. obviously my plans aren't working out. i just wish that for once, someone would initiate this. i always do for others. i am thoughtful and caring. i'm not saying that nobody is, i just wish some people were a little more observant. i feel totally alone in this and i can't talk to anyone about it but my own mother who doesn't exactly know how i feel.

just when i thought i was doing fine. i have been praying about it a freaking lot and just about feeling good about myself when BAM! Sad thing is i saw it coming. stupid me. don't ever get your hopes up. it hurts that much more to fall. so my self esteem just fell through the floor. all time low. guess the thing that feels so bad is that it was a little far fetched. i am mad at myself as much as im mad at you. i want so bad to be able to talk to someone about this, but i just can't.

just stop. don't talk to me. just makes it even worse, yet you don't even know, now do you? nobody does, cause nobody cares. ugh! like i said, i am sick of this. i have literally made myself sick about this all night. i couldn't even eat. i feel like i am going to throw up and i am shaking, although it may just be cause my room is really cold. well, thanks for everything, but no thanks. i hate this day. i hate myself. i hate you. despicable feelings. GO AWAY!!!! thursdays need to stop sucking!

doing things...

my day has been pretty darn good! :D I had to be at school at 12 for my chemistry lab final. I feel really good about it!!! And LAB IS OVER!!!!!!!! that's the best part! then Devin and I ate lunch at the commons cause she has like 27 meals to eat in 6 days so she covered mine :)

afterward, i met karasyn at Red Velvet and we had a lovely cupcake date :) I am so thankful for our friendship! Also, we have outlined our plans for our vacation excursion!!!!!! I can't wait for 10 o clock next friday!!!!!!

This just in: hmmmm....stratch that.

well, i could have seen that coming. i'm sorry. i always do that to myself. God, I know you have this all planned out but sometimes it just seems like i'm the one getting the raw end of all these deals. i'm so entirely sorry for not trusting you... I'm leaving it in your hands now. I can't do anyting else. It just seems to fall apart. I give up. It's all yours.

the worst part is i can't talk to anyone about it. well, i can, but i just feel like i'm gossiping even though i'm not. i'm such a hopeless wreck.

epiphany

so i have just thought of this. incredibly insightful. this is the solution: if you just keep doing what you are doing, it will work out. deligence is the answer, here. not some super one time, blow-your-socks-off kind of deal. i also think enjoying everyday is what needs to be done. like brother eddie said sunday night, don't live in the past or the future. live in the present. thank god for what he has given you today. he will take care of your tomorrow. i think it's in matthew that the bible says not to worry about what you will wear or eat, because God takes care of the animals and the flowers, and aren't the flowers clothed beautifully? well, there you have it. enjoy today, without thinking of what your future is going to be or worrying about what you life will be like if this happened or that.

i really struggle with that. i am always thinking about what will happen instead of the wonderfully amazing things right in front of me :D i'm not saying it's bad to be excited for things, but enjoy every minute leading up to it as well. thank you, Lord, for every amazing thing you have given me. :)

so that is the solution. don't change what you are doing. just trust the Lord and it will all work out :)


*oh and i like the title of this post because it is a song in sweeney todd, having absolutely no connection with the topic of this post, but yet being relevant lol :) i'm such a wierd-o

"you are cute, and funny. you make me laugh. you are sweet and you dress nice. i can't stop thinking about you. ever since church i can't get you out of my mind."


LOFL (laugh out freakin' loud!!) there are two versions to this story, but this one is funnier. i am not going to put it on here cause it's about my brother and he's not even supposed to know i know... and i think it would be mean to put it out there for the internet world... trust me though, it's funny and ironic. :)

anyway, now that you are thoroughly confused, i will leave you with this...

i am thinking...

about cutting my hair short. it would be more manageable. maybe i will do it for the christmas party....?

any suggestions?

steady now.

so i have been pretty steady about this blogging thing. i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. i am so excited for the next week to be over. all i have are two finals after that! :D i have to give a presentation in alpha monday about how public libraries epitomize american culture. and then wednesday i have to give a presentation about Karl Landsteiner (aka that guy who discovered blood types) in my speech class. also, i have a quiz tomorrow in chemistry and i have my oral part of my spanish final. that's the worst part. i can't even speak english let alone spanish. estoy muy nerviosa para lo.


i am so excited for tomorrow though and for the christmas party!!! I can't wait to get my dress back!! :)


well, i am really going to get things done tonight, mostly cause i got a ton done for work so far. anyway, i should probably be productive now. goodbye!!!

<(")
 '(   )'
    "

so cute :)

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SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!!

if you are reading this, don't worry. i am 99% sure it's not about you

what happened? where did we go wrong? i saw you today and you acted like we were mere aquaintances!! like seriously, where did this whole thing go awry??? we had big plans, and now the two and two have gone their separate ways-ish. i don't understand. with that said, i'm not sure i wish it would have worked out the way we planned. i can't handle that all the time.

on an entirely different note, i am so happy. i can't wait and i am so excited. :) though, i am still not going to tell you. not yet anyways.

so that's what happens, huh? i open my big mouth and it doesn't hurt anyone, but me. i am so stupid!!!! gr. i wish my brain didn't work like that, sometimes. others, i'm glad it does cause i don't have to study for tests a whole lot which is fortunate. i don't know why i said that, so don't ask! lol ;D

well, on to bigger and better things. i went to hilcrest today and mrs r is going to alter my dress for the christmas party!!!! YAY!! I was afraid that it wouldn't work.... the dress is really cute. it's a short sleeved dress. it was floorlength, but that's what she's changing, with some other things. anyway, it has an empire waist and above the waist it is made of a velvety black fabric with silver sparklies on it and below the waist is silky black and it will be just below the knee :) i'm so excited! ! ! ! ! !

imagine this dress with sparklies in the top and shorter and not on this skinny dope lol ;) jk

well, i have some documents to redesign for work. so best get to it!

you are

so adorable. :) I am so happy about that right now. I have come to the conclusion to not tell you yet though cause i just don't think you need to know. plus, i am not stupid.

anywho, hottie grandma is a goof ball and doesn't when to keep her fat mouth shut! in the store today, she opens her big mouth.

so civic orchestra got out early tonight, which was good :)

so this new pandora station is pretty awesome. it's playing the best music just at the right time :D so cool.

also, i think i know what i have to do.


well now, i am waiting for the stinking printer to print some cards for our ladies' lunch at Antioch saturday, so i guess i will get off now.

Here are a couple of cool Bible verses I found today.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." -Matthew 6:24

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." -Matthew 7: 12

at first i felt bad. now i'm just ticked. leave me alone right now while i go look for my composure and reason.

i am so thankful!!!

I am so thankful that we have no more labs!!!! YAY!!!!! i hate lab with a stinkin' passion. today all we are doing is reviewing for our final which i can totally handle. i just hate the lab. i don't know why...

so i started yet another new station on my pandora account. that makes ten. i have ten stations. the other day i made a christmas station and yesterday i started an Anberlin station. I had never heard them, but i think i like it. i think i will check out their cd's from the library after christmas. i have so many books i want to read before next semester it's not even funny. i am reading a book about cadavers right now. its super interesting and kind of funny. the author is Mary Roach and i like this book. if you are interested in that sort of thing. I also have a book checked out called skin, by Ted Dekker. I have read books by him before and they are amazing!!

Well, i have a bunch of projects looming over my head and i still need to get ready for school. also laundry is REALLY bad. my mom got really mad  yesterday cause it is flooding my closet. and she almost didn't let me go to applebees last night and then she was mad cause  i got home late. i dont think i will be going next week.
church last night was good. we studied Matthew 6. doing good works, but for the right reason. I don't think i do things for the world to see, but i might.

This other issue that is bothering me right now, is causing me to think a lot about God's will for me. I want to be really in tune with God and listen to everything he wants me to hear. This is causing me to think about fasting. I am really considering this, and I think it would be effective.

Well, i really need to be productive now, and get to work on these projects and homework. So ta ta for now!!! :D

time to get this over with!

i know that i am going to have a hard time resisting blogging during the next few hours when i am doing homework, so why not get it out of the way first? Well, not much is going on here today. I had a relatively good day, except for the fact that my speech class was canelled thirty minutes before class and i could have came home two hours earlier! oh well, i did get a lot of homework done. which i need to get to right now. eh...

in other news, i am supposed to be writing a speech about an object that epitomizes American culture. i have a few things in mind; public libraries, soap operas, or pandora. I think that the library or pandora one would be the best. probably the library. it would be the easiest. i don't know. i need to get on that soon, though....

again, in other news, my stupid christmas party was changed to friday. this means that if we have a visitation, i will have to work or i get an evening off!!! Yay! a day i don't have to ask off. and this lady i work with is covering for me on christmas day! :D so i am getting the days off i wanted! i like that!

Well, i guess now is the time to do homework. oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! :)


Here is a cute little penguin in honor of the first day of december!!
<(")

reflections....

so I have been think a lot lately about death. i know. it's morbid. but hey, i work at a funeral home! we had a visitation tonight for some guy who was eighteen, but younger than me. it really bothered me, which doesn't normally happen, but i just got really broken up about it. i don't know why. it helped me realize though that death is just a part of life. that no one is exempt from it. right now, we seem invincible, but one wrong move, and poof! it's really not fair. it's not fair that this young man had to die and that i get to live or that old people who are like vegetables get to live while other older people are active and have close families have to die. death shows no mercy, but God does. I had started thinking about if i died, who would come to my funeral? would the funeral home be packed? or would it be a small occassion with the ones who loved me most? i have just thought a lot about this. so it leads me to think about all the people i have encountered in my life. what were there impressions of me? how did i act around them? and did i give them a reason to want to pay "respects" to me after death?

this also got me to think about life as borrowed. why are we here? it certainly isn't for our enjoyment. i would take heaven over earth any day. my life is not my own, but it is given to me by God. God has given me life, and eternal life so that earth is not the only thing i have to live for. thank the Lord!!! so this leads you to say, "well, if my life is God's, shouldn't God have a say in everything i do? " YES! God should completely rule my life. i am really working hard on this... I have struggled for some great time now with the concept of being single. well, i went throught the whole, "woe is me, im ugly, nobody loves me" phase. this is when my family made a great point. god made you for you. by telling yourself your ugly or unlovable, you are bashing god's creation! this surely is a blasphemy! so i have to ask, if you believe you are not good enough,  why? Why are you questioning God and his creation? he certainly knew what he was doing when he formed you. he formed your lungs to breathe, your eyes to see, and most of all your heart to love. not only to love him, but also, his creation (AKA you)  :) this is another reason we should not speak bad about others. they are also God's creations and deserve to be treated so. I struggle with that too.

I'm getting pretty deep, but one more thing. I recieved a really awesome text message today reading:
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did." When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to recieve something better. Concentrate on this sentence. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

It was one of those forwarded messages that said like send to twelve people and you will see some sort of result. I don't normally forward messages, but this one was pretty cool. I really like the sentence, " the will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you." It was pretty powerful. So i translated it this way. If we truly follow God's plan for us, we will never have to worry about getting into trouble or having regrets. Also, I see this as a confirmation of my newfound policy of consulting God in all desicions. Like the Bible say, "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." :D

I don't have anything else to say right now, but just pray that I can make the right desicions in the near future. I would appreciate it!

I don't ever want to hear those words

come out of your mouth ever again (or typed)!!!


You are the most beautiful person I know and I love you and so does Jesus!!! And I could name a butt load of other people, but that would be the entire post cause there are so many people!!!!

I'm done. :) you get the point.

On a different note: i got a TON of Christmas things done and I have a GREAT week ahead of me.

On another different note: I really really really want to tell you something, but I am afraid of your reaction. I'm not afraid that you will be mad or upset. Maybe what I'm really afraid of is your acceptance.....You've heard of fear of rejection, but this just might be fear of acceptance. Hmmm. I always have been the odd ball lol :)

My talk with Amanda really helped and she gave me some really good advice. I think I am going to take that advice right now and go read some of the good 'ole Word of God! And while I'm at it, maybe talk to Him myself! :D I am so thankful for my relationship with Christ! I probably, in all seriousness, would have killed myself by now if it hadn't been for Him. There have been so many rocky times in my life, but He has always remained steadfast. :D I hope that my words may have helped a little!!!!


<(")

here again.

as in work. I have spent the last three and a half hours making a dang dvd for a visitation next wednesday. it took me forever and it didn't really hit me until i made the menu for the dvd. the guy's birthday was July 15, 1992. He was younger than me. That really bothered me. This whole thing is now. I knew that the family had tried to send me the pictures from facebook so i knew the kid had a facebook, so i looked him up. it was tragic. all his friends were commenting on his wall and it was just heart-wrenching. he had gone to glendale and i even had a friend in common with him. i just started crying then. how is it that somone so young could pass away. i don't know the story or the cause of death, but i know that this guy was too young to die. i have to work the dang visitation too. well i better "get back to work" but i just had to let this out.

going nuts

is what i do best. I cannot get myself to do anything productive and it's annoying. I need to do things, but I have no ambition to. gr. All I have been doing is looking up stupid quotes. Oh well.

So I am feeling much better about the whole dress thing. I found a very pretty dress but it needs to be altered. I would like Mrs. R from Hillcrest to do it, so I will go talk to her next week. Also, I have been thinking a lot about my emotional break down. I also have a new perspective of the subject now after reading this quote; "Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person, it is a matter of being the right person." I guess I always expected the "perfect guy" to just show up and everything else would just work out perfectly.... guess not. I think instead of focusing on finding the right person, i need to focus on myself right now. It's all i can do. I can't change anybody or force them to love me. I can only pray that God makes me the "right" person for someone else. When you think of it that way, it takes the focus off of yourself. i sometimes only think about how my life will be once i've found that person, how i will feel when i find them, or how i feel not knowing them now and how i want to be in a relationship. Well, when I think about it, this anonymous future husband is probably thinking the same thing and I want to be everything he has hoped for and prayed for. So tonight I am praying not for me to find that right person, but for God to prepare my heart and mind and thoughts and character to be just the person that my future husband is waiting for.


<3

well, I can only wonder who that was about???

hmmm. not too hard to figure it out. you should really try to be more subtle!

well, today i had a complete and total emotional break down. I went shopping with my mom to find a dress for my company christmas party and i didn't find anything, anywhere. I was so sick of trying on stupid dresses that looked hideous and were too short and by the end of the day i was just ready to cross my name off the guest list. This wretched dress shopping made me so mad and i was so frustrated. All I wanted to do was look nice for my company christmas party and have a good time with ryan and my grandparents. Now I am just so distressed and I was really just going to call ryan and tell him i wasn't going. UGH! I don't even know why i got so upset, but it just makes everything worse. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about how no one will ever want to be with me. Not just like in close proximity, but like married. I sometimes feel like i am terminally single. I hate this feeling and I just want it to go away.

Well today I am at work. It's pretty dead around here lol :) pun intended!

So I just got back from lunch and was contemplating the things I am thankful for, so here goes.


1) I am thankful for coupons!!! I saved $2.50 on my lunch today! :D I love saving money!

2) I am thankful for my father's car. My car has been leaking antifreeze and I am still able to go cause I can drive my dad's Blazer. It's nice to have that back up plan.

3) Lastly, I am thankful for books. This day would never end if it weren't for my book.


I guess I will get back to work lol :)

It's that time again...

no silly! I'm not talking about Christmas!! I'm talking about Thanksgiving!!! In general, the least commercialized holiday with an entirely wholesome purpose. :) This is the time you should give thanks to God for everything!!! And with that, I am going to continue my list of things I am thankful for.


1) I am thankful for my friend, Chrissie, from Antioch who paid for my lunch today. I am VERY low on cash this next couple of weeks cause I have to fix some things on my car, so she paid for my lunch, which was super sweet and I really appreciated it!

2) I am thankful for transportation! I take this for granted a lot, but now that I am having minor car issues I realize how much I rely on my it. Thank you for letting me use your truck, dad!

3) I am thankful for thrift stores!!!! Not only can you find super cute AFFORDABLE clothes there, but you can also get rid of all of the clothes you don't like anymore, instead of just throwing them away or something equally wasteful!


Well, that's about it for now. I am super excited to go see the Willard production Les Miserables tonight!! Yay!! :D You should come!!!

Sometimes I love my dreams. It was so sweet :)

Thankful (cont.)

Here are three more things that I'm thankful for.



1) I am thankful for being alive. I think sometimes we forget this simple thing. It may seem like sometimes we don't want to be alive, but then we couldn't fulfill God's purpose for us. I even take this for granted and I work at a funeral home!!!!

2) I am thankful for my mom. Today we had a great day having lunch, pumpkin pie concretes and she bought me some shoes, which i was in desperate need of. I got some fuzzy black flats for work and some short tan boots :) I am just glad to not only have my strappy sandals and tennis shoes to wear. Thank you, MOM!!!! I love you!!!! <3

3) I am thankful for knowledge. I am not trying to be conceited or anything, but I am just glad that some subjects come easy for me. I am thankful for this because it means that I am not completely wrapped up in school all the time and that I don't need to worry about losing my scholarships. Also, I am glad because I can help others out when they have a hard time. I know that it's not me. I am not smart. God has given me the talent and I want to give him all of the glory for it! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to go to college!!! (Please don't read this and think i'm bragging, I am not.)


Well, tonight I am super bored. I have a wee bit of homework that I need to do, but who wants to do homework on a Friday night? Well, who wants to be at a funeral home on Friday night? lol Well, I don't want to get in trouble so I better get off. I hope everyone has a great weekend and a great few last days of school before Thanksgiving break!!!!

Thankful

so i haven't posted in a couple of days and the last one was a random picture. anyway, with Thanksgiving only a week away, I am going to try something new. I am going to type three things a day that I am thankful for. Be it small or large, I am going to be VERY thankful this next week! so here goes the first day:

I AM THANKFUL FOR:

1) the wonderful candy cane that my brother bought for me. :) it is yummy and helps me while i am doint homework. it is one of those really big peppermint sticks. :D i really love it and i am glad he thought of me.

2) my friends and family. i do NOT know what i would do without them. even those of you who just think we are only aquaintances. i consider you my friend and if you ever need anything just ask cause if you read this, i owe you. i rant on here all the time and you put up with it. you don't have to, but if you need something just ask, or text me :) i am so thankful for my loving family and my great friends. you all rock!!

3) i am thankful for my job. i know that i complain about it sometimes, but i am glad that i work with great people and i have a source of income. i would be nowhere literally without it.



Well, i think that wraps it up. :) Tune in tomorrow for more thanksgivings!!!

picnik

I am not a slave....

to the internet!!!! Hehe :) Today was super fun!!!! In my spanish class, all we did was look up words in the dictionary and watch little kid music videos in spanish. chemistry wsn't too bad, but it never is and then in alpha we did pointless revisions of a paper we don't even have to turn in nd it only took 30 minutes.

When i got out of alpha i walked to OTC and had lunch with my bestest friend, Karasyn!!! It was amazing and then we went to Red Velvet and Maggie's, which i had never been to. It was an amazing excursion and I want to do it everyday, but i can't. Sometimes i have to be productive. I am paying for this wretched thing called school, ya know?

Well, I am really looking forward to tomorrow. I am working during the day and we don't have anything, so i will be able to do homework and then after work my mom, karasyn, me, my brother, hottie grandma, and wava are going to the Baldknobbers!!!!! I get to see robbie!!!!!! YAY! He is the most amazing drummer i have ever seen in my entire life!!!!

And next weekend I am going to the willard play!!! ALSO YAY!!!! :)

now?

what am i going to do now that this challengy thing is over??? i am still going to write every day :) i hope.

today kind of stinks but it gets better!!!!! i forgot that my group in speech has a group project that we have to be at school at 8 for. i really wanted to go for a walk this morning, but i guess i will just go to school. also, i have to go pick up food for our commuter student lunch. it's not that big of a deal, just kind of annoying. but it will be good.


anyway, after the lunch im free to watch days and then in speech we aren't doing anything. YAY!!! Then i have like three hours before church! i might eat at school....

i am so freakin excited for friday :) i love karasyn and red velvet!!!! it's the perfect combination!! i am excited because this time i am going to otc :) i might try bubble tea this time.....who knows?


well, i gotta go get ready for this stinkin' group project. chao por ahora!!

Day 30 (AKA THE LAST) ~ a picture

I don't even know what city this is, i just thought it was a pretty picture. Both pictures are from weheartit.com

I love this picture!!! It reminds me of the doll house at Red Velvet. Speaking of which, I can't wait 'til Friday! :) I get out of alpha early so i'm going over to OTC to have lunch with my bestesty best friend, Karasyn and then RED VELVET FOR CUPCAKES!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! :D

Day 29

3 Wishes



my first wish is that college won't be too hard for me, that I will always have the will to become an ophthtalmologist, and that when i do, i will do for the glory of the Lord. i am afraid that i will become too wrapped up in the worldly things and forget that God was the one who helped me to achieve my dream.


my second wish is that i will get married in college. whether it's drury or graduate school i don't care, but i just want to share my life with someone and vice versa. i can't wait for that day :) i know it's kind of over kill and i talk about it too much.


my last wish is that in my adult life i will stay really close to my family and friends. i know we will all have our own lives but i want to have a really close family!

well one more day :D

music and weddings

so today has been a big bowl of bore. seriously. i have done nothing. i cleaned a couple of bathrooms and vacuumed the chapel. like what else can i do? i have been on facebook all day and i have been reading random blogs.

when i was cleaning for like two seconds, i listened to my iPod which was set to Frank Sinatra :)

the song that came on was "The Way You Look Tonight"

i have concluded that this is going to be the first dance song at my wedding reception! :) i have been on a wedding kick lately if you haven't figured that one out. anyway, it is so sweet and perfect for a wedding, but my dilema is that i don't know if i wan't to use the original Frank Sinatra version or the Michael Buble version? The Michael Buble version is a better tempo, but there is a certain charm that Sinatra's version has. and i like the accompaniment better too. i am not quite sure.

anywho, this is what i have done all day. i have two papers i have to write, but no, i made a playlist for my wedding reception. it's not even like i foresee a wedding in the near future, but i just thought it would be a good idea. oh well. i have begun the playlist so when it comes time for my future husband to propose i will say "don't worry about the music or dj for our reception, honey. i got that one covered already!" lol i'm sure he will be very concerned about that. the good thing is that i don't have enough songs for the whole thing so we can put our favorites together :) i can't wait to plan a wedding and a life with another person! i know that right now school should be my focus but it's kind of coming in second place right now even though i have no immediate plans for a wedding or a husband for that matter. oh well. in life, my husband will have to come before my job anyway, so i am just getting good practice.

i can't even begin to express how excited i am for that day. the day in which a girl is supposed to be her prettiest and cute pictures get taken every 5 seconds to document the day :) and that my bestest friend and family helps me to get ready for the rest of my life. some guys just don't get it. they don't see that this is the day that every girl in the whole world dreams of her whole life. and no, ryan, i'm not talking about you lol :)

"every girl deserves a happily ever after" <3

i am officially in love with weddings. maybe it's not even the concept of getting married to the love of your life, but just the event that is a wedding. they are cute and pretty and elegant and the most monumental day in a person's life. and i can't wait!

i kind of want a christmas-y wedding. maybe between thanksgiving and christmas, but that season is too busy. maybe summer. so our honeymoon could be somewhere exotic. i would like to go out of the country. maybe spain. deffinitely somewhere they spoke spanish so we could half-way get around. i think it would be the best excursion in the history of excursions.

i can't wait for church tonight. like i REALLY can't wait. i am going insane!!! i can't stand this place much longer. it is really boring. the thing is i have a million things to do, but half of them i can't do because we don't have the computer and the other half i have no will to do therefore i will wait until the last minute to do them.


anyway, if you haven't listened to that song, mentioned before, please, please, PLEASE listen. it's the sweetest!!!!

Day 28

some things that stress you out.


well i get stressed out easily. i get stressed out over loud noises like the tv sitting right next to my face at work right now that is playing stupid football!! actually the football isn't annoying, just that the station keeps coming in and out.


deadlines stress me out. period.

i get stressed out at the thought of going through life alone. not so much being single, but just alone. not having friends to confide in.

i get stressed out in traffic.

i get stressed out when giving a speech. i never thought that i would get nervous talking in front of people, but i get really nervous giving speeches.

i get stressed out by money. that's another reason i don't want to go through life alone. i don't want to be the only one who has to be in charge of money. i want to share that responsibility with someone. it's not really scary, just irksome ;)


well that's about it.

Day 27

so i have decided to get back to the groove. Today is about your pets. Let me see if I have pictures. :)

this is my first pet, Otis. he is a cat. he is black and gray. he bites. really hard. other than that he is sweet and sleeps in my bedroom everynight and this morning when i woke up he was laying on my pile of dirty clothes in the bottom of my closet :) i like to call this picture 'cat and mouse'

we have another cat that is younger than otis. her name is mia. she is dumb and annoying. she doesn't not ever come around me. i think she hates me. oh well. i tantalize her anyway. lol

once again.

i am stuck here, bored out of my mind, with few things to keep me occupied.


i made my feelings official today. i told my mom. for some reason that makes what goes on in my head real. i don't know just stating it in words. i guess i wasn't afraid of it being so real as i didn't want to ruin it. i'd like to see it move forward, but i am afraid it would ruin everything. i guess that's a risk everyone has to take though. that's where faith comes in i guess. i think the next step i should take here is just to pray about it. pray about everything. pray about life, i guess. on one hand i don't want that person to be mad. on the other what if it doesn't work out. and if it doesn't would that person still be the same? i have never been there before either so i'm not sure what i would do. it would be strange but also it would just seem right. perfect. i can totally see it now. so can they. it seems just perfect, but would you see it too? or would it just be wierd? i don't know. these are just a few of my thoughts. they go on and on and on. i can't see the future but it would be nice if i could. i would take out the guess work. hmmmm.

i also wonder if anybody who reads this is going to know a single word that i'm saying. it's ok if you don't. i'm not even sure i do. lol :) C0

pictures on the wall, the ceiling and the floor

so i have been on a picture kick today :) i have been looking up wedding blogs and here are a few noteworthy pictures i found! the first two are from a lovely little blog titled kiss the groom and the last from the cinderella project.





this is a really cute picture of a really cute camera. it's pretty self-explanatory.





this is the cutest picture of a reception that was posted on the blog kissthegroom. :) it is so adorable, although i don't think this look could be achieved in this area of the country due to unpredictable weather, i still want to use this as inspiration!

Brooke! You didn't tell me you were getting married!?!?!

Rebel.

so today i am actually not going to do the challenge. i will continue with that tomorrow when i have my laptop, but today i am going to tell you about my mixed up crazy day.


so this morning really early my dad had to leave which was sad and always makes my mom and brother depressed, but this morning started out really good. i got up, made some coffee, and started a loaf of pumpkin bread and then my mom and i started watching our favorite christmas movie, home alone. it was the perfect beginning to a saturday starting the holiday season. my mom had told me that her and her mother and her mother's friend, wava, were going to go to target this evening and shop while i was at work and i thought it would be great because papa and i usually go to steak-n-shake on these evenings. but then my mom told me that her mom had made her mad, and thus the madness begins. i got mad at my grandmother and heck broke loose because she knew we were mad at her and so on and so forth. it all boils down to my grandmother being selfish and inconsiderate to my mother, who's husband had just left and won't be back until thanksgiving and she just made plans without her. frankly just rude. anywho after my mom explained everything and they were on good terms, we had to take my brother to his piano lesson and i just rode with them so my mom could take me to work, because, yes, i like to mooch rides of my mom so i don't have to use my gas :) anyway, my mom made plans with her friend from church and her friend's granddaughter to go see toy story 3 and shop. so we went and got some lunch and then went to target. at target i found a really cute purse on sale for 7.50. it was 75% off!!! yay! and i also found halloween candy for 75% off as well and bought two bags for less than two bucks :) and i got christmas cards to send to all of my friends and i got wrapping paper for christmas and i got decorations for a christmas tree that i'm going to put up in my room!!! it's gong to be super cute. :) there are glittery flower ornaments, fuzzy music ornaments and also some sparkly polka dot ribbon all to go with my colored christmas lights!!! yay! i can't wait to decorate :)


well i really don't have all that much else to say, just that now i am bored at the funeral home. except i was sitting in the office when i heard the door open and a lady walked in to see if she could pick up her flowers and so i showed her where they were and the guy that was with her DIDN'T HAVE A NOSE!!!! it was just flat with a circular bandage!!! it really creeped me out!

: 0 ...............................


The end!

Day 26

I'm actually getting pretty bad at this. But with only four days after this left I will stick with it. I actually don't have any pictures of my family except my brother which I've already posted. What I need to find is a picture of Hottie Grandma, young and old.

I am not following the rules on this one. No pictures today. Today I am going to follow back into the old blogging routine.

So tonight at work our computer is gone. There is no tower or anything, but I just happened to have my laptop with me. You know usually i can't get on the internet here because there is no wireless connection, but since the tower is gone i used the ethernet cord :)

So here I am. and blogger and facebook are virtually untraceable :) YAY!


So today was pretty good, I say. Not too difficult but later this weekend i need to step it up on the homework/studying scene. Here are things that no one is going to understand, but I thought I would pull an old you know who here and write stupid phrases that mean nothing to anyone but those who write them. You know who it is :) lol


I want this to work, but I am afraid.
Not of being hurt, but just afraid. Maybe because it seems so real.


Stupid role-playing.

I want you to acknowledge my existence, dad-gum-it!!!!! I want you to talk to me! Admit you were wrong!


Why must things always be so hard for you to understand!?!?!? You are dumb!

Don't go anywhere. I like it when you're around. :)

Now for those who know :)

-My friends are amazing! Thanks for an amazing weekend last week! Also, thanks for a great time after church!!! I love that escape :)

-Karasyn, thanks for introducing me to Red Velvet AKA the cutest store in all the land!

:) That is about all i have to say. oh, and don't take any of this personal cause it was just aimless ranting.

Day 25

I have beeen so excited for this post!!!!!! It's iPod shuffle!!!!! :)

Here we go:

1. New Moon (The Meadow) - Alexandre Desplat from the New Moon soundtrack, beautiful piano solo!

2. Grapevine Fires - Death Cab for Cutie -I really like their style! It's different than anything else I have litened to.

3. Year 3000 - JONAS BROTHERS!!! -OH YEAH! I was hoping the JoBros would come up!

4. Look at You - Hanson - They are like the Jonas Brothers of the 90's! My cousin Kristy loved them and I do too! But now they are all old and have kids and everything.

5. Love and Marriage - Frank Sinatra - This is a fairly new one to my library, but it's very catchy :)

6. Sorry - Jonas Brothers -Again! What can I say? :)

7. My Heart Beats for Love - Miley Cyrus - I can't say that I have even heard this song all the way through. I just added her new CD like last week.

8. Summer Wind - Frank Sinatra - I LOVE this song! I also have a version by Michael Buble on my iPod too :)

9. I Don't Miss You At All - Selena Gomez - This reminds me of last night at Applebee's cause a Selena Gomez song came on and I started singing with it and everyone on the other side of the table looked at me really funny :) it was great though

10. Let's Do This - Hannah Montana - This is also ironic cause while we were practicing for praise band i started singing this and everyone told me to stop lol but i didn't even realize it was on my iPod. Go figure.




Frankly, I am surprised that no Michael Buble came on, but I pretty well like all of these songs.

Day 24

Something that I've learned:


-I have learned that you need to cherish every moment because you never know which will be your last. I think working at the funeral home has helped me with this.


-I have learned that college is an investment of time and money. A HUGE one, too. Hopefully it will all be worth it in the end.


-I have learned that although I think things are hard in my life, someone always has it worse than you, and you should be greatful even for the breath that you take. This is something that I sometimes forget because I'm too wrapped up in trivial things.


-I have learned that I am not as good of a public speaker as I thought I would be. :/ I got really super nervous on my first speech.


-I have learned that anyone can make a lot of money. As long as you're willing to work stinkin' hard for it, anyone can do it. I have also learned that you shouldn't EVER work at a job just for the money. It takes a toll on you and if you chose to do something you love then it's not really work. I think I am making the right decision with my career choice and I am blessed that I have the means to do it and the opportunity.


-Lastly, I have learned that friends and family are the best people you will ever know. Your family loves you, mostly because they have to (lol) but your friends chose to love you, and your family for that matter. I am so grateful that I have the greatest friends in the whole world!

Day 23

Favorite Vacation!!!


BY FAR, my favorite vacation was Disney World with the marching band. :) It was pretty much the best week of my life!!! I had barrels of fun with by best friends and I got to see CINDERELLA'S CASTLE!!!! Oh and I got married. I am also very excited for my winter vacation with Karasyn to Branson! I can't wait because I will really feel like an adult! :)

I would post pictures of florida, but I feel like I have posted them like a million times.

On a different note, I finished reading a really great book, titled Thr3e by Ted Dekker. It is a great pyscho-thriller mystery based on scripture. Specifically, Romans 7:15-25. It is really mind blowing. :) You should read it!

Dear Karasyn,

I wish that I could comment on your blog. For some reason, beyond my control, my laptop prohibits this. Anyway I wanted to comment on it and say:

L.A., L.A., baby!!!!! :)

and don't forget about Karasino!

Day 22

Favorite City

I am not sure of the rules of this post. My favorite city would be my own, obviously, but I guess I have to say another city, so, I think

I would have to say Nashville, Tennessee.




It was so much much fun to go there and it is very beautiful. Not to mention they have really good, cheap Chinese food at their Farmer's Market :) I would put up a picture of it, but I don't have one.

Day 21

Here are some pictures of me :)

This is one of the happiest days of my life ;)

This is me in my bedroom one morning doing homework and I got distracted with my webcam :)

This is my little brother and I :) Isn't he a cutie!?

I'm going to put up some pictures of the party later and my flippin sweet costume! lol Oh and since I can't comment on my posts on my laptop, Brooke, we missed you dearly! I saw pictures of your costume on Facebook though and it was awesome!

day 20

Nicknames:

Well I don't really have a whole lot of these. My brother calls me sis and my dad calls me B. My mom pretty much calls me Brianna or sometimes Bri. A lot of people call me Bri, but other than that not much else. Oh and my high school orchestra teacher and Bethany Loya call me BriBri.

Nicknames for others:

I use the name Bud for my brother.
I call Karasyn, Karasino sometimes.
Actually that is about it. I just like using peoples real names for the most part. :)

Day 19

Things I miss:

I miss:
-some of my highschool friends(melissa, tyler, amanda, and others that are unfortunate to still be in high school oh and i kinda sorta miss being friends with those people, i just wish we could be at least aquaintances)
-high school
-marching band
-my cousin, Kristy


Right now I can't really think of much else. I would have said that I miss pinapple orange juice but i just discovered that the CX has it and am drinking it at this very moment :)
THE END

Day 18

Something I regret:

Well I could fill an entire book with things I would re-do, but really the only thing I regret is not keeping touch with people as much over summer break. I was super busy and I understand that everyone is, but I guess it just shows who your realy friends are.

Also, my junior year I was kind of a jerk to my good friends to hang out with other people, and for that reason I think I'm not as close to some of my friends, because turns out that those other people can't really stand the sight of me. I actually don't know why. They are dumb. I think it's time for them to grow up, but that's another story. Anywho, I was going to say I regret being annoying to those people and making them mad at me, but I am really not. I think it happened for a very good reason and now Karasyn and I are bestest friends and I wouldn't have had that I think. And it's funny how things seem so bad, but work out in the end because when they all got mad at me I was really upset but for a long time I had been praying for a best friend. One that I could just tell everything to and be myself around. Well, he gave it to me. So sometimes things that seem bad aren't really bad at all.

Anyway, that's just about it. I might have regretted being irresponsible in the homework area in high school, but I am kind of making up for it now. :)

Day 17

What I look forward to:

I look forward to:

-Church tonight!

-SATURDAY NIGHT!!!

-Halloween and Thanksgiving :)

-The whole Christmas season and watching Home Alone every saturday!!!

-Making it past my first semester in college

-Helping Karasyn plan her wedding!! :) I this one might come sooner than you think! EEEP! :)

-Graduating from undergrad school

-Going to medical school

-Meeting a nice guy :)

-Experiencing true love

-Planning my own wedding

-Getting married

-Becoming a Doctor

Hopefully this is the order they come in :)

Day 16

Dream House :)


Well, I would like to have a huge beautiful new home, but unfotunately I will be paying off school loans until the end of time. I love old homes that have an upstairs and a cute front porch :) I would settle for one of these. Some that come to mind are the houses in front of Drury on Benton (if you are ever over there). I guess I will go room by room.

KITCHEN:

This room is going to be my favorite and I hope that will aquire a good skill of cooking so that I can use it a lot. The colors are going to mainly white with accents of red, blue, green, yellow and orange :) I already have a quite sufficient collection of things for this room :) I'm so excited to have my own house to decorate!!!

BEDROOM:

I would like my bedroom to be large-ish. I want it to be a bedroom and an office in one, unless the house is big enough to have an office too :) which would be great! Anywho, if I am alone, my twin bed will suffice, if I'm married a queen and I am not so sure about colors or anything, but it will be cute and I want to use lots of vintagey things to decorate :) I guess I would say bright colors! And my office desk will be simple and organized with plenty of storage space for books (which I will aquire a lot of in medical school) and documents.

BATHROOM:

I have always wanted to decorate my bathroom in browns and blues and greens. :) I hope I can do this and have it very cute :)

LIVING ROOM:

My living room will have a cute little couch, which I could have bought if I had storage space, but I don't want to buy it new. I want to find a cute furniture set at a garage sale. Anyway, also it MUST MUST MUST have a piano and music area!!! Actually it would be nice to have a separate music room, but we may not have a room for it.

Anyway, I haven't really thought too much about the rest, but those are the basics. I am excited to have my own space to decorate. I love rearranging furniture and redecorating! :) It makes me sad that I couldn't take interior design in high school. Maybe I will take one at Drury :)

I'm behind....

on this challenge thing......

Well, I believe my next day was 14

A picture I love :)

I am being redundant in these pictures, but I had a ton of fun at prom and I wish that the gang could all be there saturday :(

This is a picture of the Jonas Brothers!!!

I really liked this picture because I had the washington monument right in the perfect place......and you can see the gum in my mouth... :)

Ok day 15



A bible verse:

Psalm 37: 4
Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I love this verse because it seems so simple, but doesn't everyone have something that they "desire" and if you delight yourself in the Lord, he will give it to you. Now you might say that He won't if the desire isn't His will, but if you really truly delight in the Lord, which is simply spending time with Him and being completely in love with Him, you will only want His will and nothing else. I really would like to achieve this intimacy with the Lord where I only want God and His will. :)

Day 13

Goals... This subject makes me cringe. I am always really excited about my goals, but then when it comes to actually doing them, I am not so "excited." Well, anyway. Here goes.


My biggest goal is to graduate from college with a good grade point average and get accepted into the University of Missouri Columbia School of Medicine. I then want to become an Ophthalmologist before or at the age of 30. This seems like so long away, but I'm sure it will go fast. This makes my next goal a little complicated.

My other goal is to get married. I am not too picky on when, but I don't want to wait until I'm done with medical school cause then I will be ancient when/if I have kids. I want to get married, but I don't want getting married to prohibit my career plans. That is why my husband must be extremely supportive of my choice of career.

I would have to say my last big goal is that when I am in a relationship, I want it to be a God-centered relationship. I want God to completey rule our lives together.


Those are my major goals and well, that's about all. I will say I am very excited about Day 25. Put your iPod on Shuffle and list the first ten songs. I love doing that!!!

Day 12

I believe:


That God made the world and his son, Jesus Christ, came down to it and died upon a cross so that I could live with him forever if I admit that I'm fallible, accept Jesus into my heart and confess my belief. :)

I have the bestest friends in the ENTIRE world!!! :)

That next saturday is giong to be the best dadgum halloween party there ever was.

That I'm going to be a peacock for halloween(still debating this)

My family rocks.

Days of Our Lives mixed with Diet Coke and Cheez-its (and possibly something pumpkin) is the recipe for a GRAND afternoon.

Death is not the end, yet merely the beginning, which explains why I don't get too aweful depressed working at a funeral home.

That I'm going to be in school the rest of my life (or at least until i'm 30, which seems like the rest of my life)

That my future husband better not EVER tell me that I can't do what I've always wanted to do just because he isnt going to make enough money. :P oh and be really supportive of my career choice.

That the majority of policeman are cocky and rude. (no offense)

That fall is by far the best season!

,
( ) )
that's a pumpkin :)

That is all I have to say :)

Day 11

Favorite TV shows....


This one is going to show how lame I am.

1. I love anything Disney Channel: Jonas L.A., Wizards of Waverly Place, Good Luck Charlie, Phineas and Ferb, and Hannah Montana (even though I don't care too much for Miley Cyrus)

2. MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SHOW would have to DAYS OF OUR LIVES!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!! There is absolutely no way I could tell you all about it cause it's comoplicated, but I love the characters Rafe and Brady and I hate Arianna!!! GRR.

3. My newest favorite is Hawaii Five-O. It's great and the lead guy is super hot!!!



Well, that's about it! :)

Day 10

Things that I am afraid of.

Ok so the first thing I'm afraid of is SPIDERS!!!! They are creepy and crawly and I don't like them!!!


Next I am afraid of failing college and I am afraid I will give up on my dream to become and ophthalmologist.

I am afraid of being terminally single.....sad. I know.

I am also afraid of screwing things up at work. I kind of already have before, but I don't want to lose my job.

The last thing I'm afraid of is scary movies. I know they are just made up and not real, but I work at a funeral home, most of the time by myself. I can't watch them.

Well those are some of my fears :)

Day nine!!! Pictures of my friends!!! :)

This is Elizabeth, Devin and Becca! Roomies when we went to D.C.

This is the gang before prom!

These are my guard friends Melissa, Karasyn and Leah :)

This is my bestest friend Kevin Jonas. Just kidding! :)

THIS is my bestest friend, Karasyn, and I on our way to St. Louis for the Jonas Brothers!!!

Rochelle and I in Texas on workship! She's getting married this spring and I am playing for the wedding!!!!

The whole group before we left Springfield!!!

day 9?

HOW DESPICABLE!!!!!!! UGH! Image uploader will be disabled!?!?!?! Well guess I won't be posting pictures of my friends!

Well, on a different note I got my chemistry quiz back and I got an A- on it!! YAY! And I feel really good about our midterm tomorrow, but I haven't studied Spanish like at all, so I guess I better go study for our midterm in that class and I will get back to you on those pictures. maybe tomorrow...


Tomorrow = Fall Break Commences!!!!!

Day 8

A place that you've traveled to...

Hmmmmmm. Well how could I not say this, DISNEY WORLD!!!!! I love Disney and pretty much anything associated with Disney, but the epitomy was Disney World! I absolutely loathed marching, but I got to march down Main Street and in front of CINDERELLA'S CASTLE!!!!! WOOO!!! It was just "good times and great oldies"!!!! AHHAAHAHHA!!!!! Well here are a few pictures to let your eyes graze over!!! :)

Day 7

Favorite movies!!!!!!!!! Yeah!



Well my favorite movies include:

Home Alone

Home Alone II

Phantom of the Opera
Freaky Friday

The Princess Diaries

21

13 Going On 30

National Treasure(I and II)

Wizard of OZ!!!!!


Just to name a few....

Day 7

Favorite movies!!!!!!!!! Yeah!

day 6

A picture that makes me happy.....

Well, I can't think of just one, so here are three...

1) This is a pictured of Karasyn and I after out Jonas Brothers experience!!! Whoo hoo!! Do I really need to say more?

2) This is a picture of (in order from left to right) Tyler, Me, Elizabeth, Devin, Melissa and Steven on prom night. That is the limo from the funeral home that we got for really cheap and we had a ton of fun!!! It was the only dance in high school that I had ever been to and it was great!!! Very fun evening!!! Completely unforgettable!!!!

3) This is a picture of me, Tyler, Karasyn, Melissa and Jessi at Disney World!!! The fantastic five!!!! That had to be the absolute best week of my life. I love my friends and we got to spend a lot of time together and then we marched in a parade AT DISNEY WORLD!!! How cool? :)