going nuts

is what i do best. I cannot get myself to do anything productive and it's annoying. I need to do things, but I have no ambition to. gr. All I have been doing is looking up stupid quotes. Oh well.

So I am feeling much better about the whole dress thing. I found a very pretty dress but it needs to be altered. I would like Mrs. R from Hillcrest to do it, so I will go talk to her next week. Also, I have been thinking a lot about my emotional break down. I also have a new perspective of the subject now after reading this quote; "Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person, it is a matter of being the right person." I guess I always expected the "perfect guy" to just show up and everything else would just work out perfectly.... guess not. I think instead of focusing on finding the right person, i need to focus on myself right now. It's all i can do. I can't change anybody or force them to love me. I can only pray that God makes me the "right" person for someone else. When you think of it that way, it takes the focus off of yourself. i sometimes only think about how my life will be once i've found that person, how i will feel when i find them, or how i feel not knowing them now and how i want to be in a relationship. Well, when I think about it, this anonymous future husband is probably thinking the same thing and I want to be everything he has hoped for and prayed for. So tonight I am praying not for me to find that right person, but for God to prepare my heart and mind and thoughts and character to be just the person that my future husband is waiting for.


<3