once again.

i am stuck here, bored out of my mind, with few things to keep me occupied.


i made my feelings official today. i told my mom. for some reason that makes what goes on in my head real. i don't know just stating it in words. i guess i wasn't afraid of it being so real as i didn't want to ruin it. i'd like to see it move forward, but i am afraid it would ruin everything. i guess that's a risk everyone has to take though. that's where faith comes in i guess. i think the next step i should take here is just to pray about it. pray about everything. pray about life, i guess. on one hand i don't want that person to be mad. on the other what if it doesn't work out. and if it doesn't would that person still be the same? i have never been there before either so i'm not sure what i would do. it would be strange but also it would just seem right. perfect. i can totally see it now. so can they. it seems just perfect, but would you see it too? or would it just be wierd? i don't know. these are just a few of my thoughts. they go on and on and on. i can't see the future but it would be nice if i could. i would take out the guess work. hmmmm.

i also wonder if anybody who reads this is going to know a single word that i'm saying. it's ok if you don't. i'm not even sure i do. lol :) C0