The Never-Ending Summer

Ok , so it seems that summer has already been like 4 months longs, but it's only been like 6 weeks. It just seems like it has been forever because I started a second job the first week of summer and have only had like 7 days off since. BUT! Yesterday, I talked to the greenhouse and told them I didn't want hours cause I have to pick up hours at the funeral home cause two people quit, and then at the funeral home last night I talked to my manager about getting the schedule worked out. I think my schedule for the rest of summer is going to work out quite nicely! I'm going to get every other weekend off and be able to play in orchestra at church! YAY!

So now I actually have free time to do the very long to do list for this summer. I have been so busy that I haven't been able to even organize in my head what things I need to do before this summer ends, so that's what I'm going to do with this post..... here's the list!

1 ~ sort through everything I have bought for my "hope chest" which is actually enough to fill up four or five hope chests. i would like to take a sort of inventory so I know what all I have. Then I need to pack into boxes the things I want to take to the Honors House and then pack into storage containers the things I want to save for when I move out on my own. This should keep me occupied for at least a week or so. From this I also want to see what I need to buy before I move.

2 ~ find some shadowing experience!!! I only have 8 more weeks to find some! I need like 80 hours more! I'm kinda stressing about that, but it will all come through hopefully.

3 ~ print off all of the music I am going to need for SDCO and Chamber Orchestra. I want to seriously practice this summer before school starts and secure a good seat in auditions!

4 ~ I need to get back to studying for the MCAT... that went by the wayside....

5 ~ Save the rest of my money for Mexico and find my Spanish Bible.

6 ~ Have lots and lots of fun for the next 8 weeks!!!!! :D

Hope your summer is going great and being productive! But only if you want it to be!

so random...

This is perfect!

I don't like Lady Gaga too much, but sometimes I would have to agree... sad as it is.

HA!!!!!

I have to keep telling myself that one.

My little brother has been saying this a lot lately lol making fun of people who don't pronounce their words correctly lol

SO TRUE!

That's how I felt when I came into work today, but I talked to my boss and all is good. Today has been kind of frustrating. I didn't get my paycheck like I had planned so I'm broke and I still haven't paid my insurance. I don't know what I'm going to do after work tonight....

I'm kinda mad cause I forgot my book, so I might just go home and read. I'm so exciting, I know! I can't wait for Sunday night! Church and then Afterglow! Woohoo!

Anyway, hope you have a great weekend!

what a girl wants

This is how I feel about a certain person at the moment:

Words of wisdom:

This is great:

This is sooooo me! : 

Some days I desire to have a boyfriend so much I can't even take it. I hate being alone. I hate seeing others getting married or being in happy relationships. I hate reading those "Cute Date Ideas" on pinterest. It makes me sick. I hate even looking at myself because I think, wow that's why no one wants to date you. I know this is ridiculous. I hate feeling that way, but in this society it is so hard to feel good about myself. I desperately need God's strength in this. I know this is going to make me stronger eventually, I just feel like the "training" is never ending. And I'm just too much of a planner to be ok with not knowing who I'm going to be with or when.

Some days I think that if I want anything in this world I have to go out and get it myself. Like school. I work hard to get good grades and to build my career. It's not just handed to me. So then I wonder, must I do that to even "earn" a relationship too? I just hate sitting back and not doing anything. At least if I'm failing a class I can go to the professor, study harder, what have you. In this, I am completely helpless. I can't talk to boys, I am not super funny or good looking. What in the world can I do?! I try praying to just give up because, really, what good will it do? No one will ever like me. They never have! What's to freakin' like?

The thing is, I'm not afraid of being single forever. I have plenty of fulfilling things in my life. My family, my friends, school, my job, church. It just makes me sad to think that I could spend my life not ever knowing what that companionship will be like, and that if I do, it will be too late.

I don't talk about this much anymore because I know worrying and whining about it will do no good. I feel this way less and less every day and I do a pretty good job of hiding it when I do, but I just had to get it out today. I'm not depressed or anything. I just have a desire that God has yet to fill and that I'm anxiously and sadly, doubtfully, awaiting. Most of the time, I do so much to keep me busy so I don't have to deal with my feelings. That's probably not good.

Anyway, as I'm writing this I'm seeing how pathetic I sound lol

Thanks for reading....

5 weeks later

So I have been on summer break for officially 5 weeks now. It is at this point that I have finally recovered from the past school year. After school I swore I never wanted to see a science text book, microscope or lab coat EVER again. Now that's different. I'm finally wishing I had some free time to go back to reading and studying for the MCAT and I also am ready to start thinking about books, classes, SCHOOL SUPPLIES and such I need to stock up on! I'm thinking about quiting my summer job here in a couple of weeks in order to get ready for Mexico and start going through things and sorting what I need to move and what I need to store at home for another year.

Right now, this is the most exciting thing going on in my life. Tonight I'm going to Neighborhood with Karasino and later downtown to evangelize with our college/youth group. Then back to work tomorrow for a 10 day streak! Ugh!

Well, have a great Saturday and enjoy your summer!
♪♫ brianna ♪♫

♪ you're always on my mind ♫

Many things are on my mind today. One thing that has been camping out up there is how much stuff I have to go through before moving. I literally have a TON of crap that I have been buying here and there that I have to go through, organize, box up and find a place to store it before the move. I have 67 days until the move! Woo! So close! :)

Another thing on my mind is that I need to be healthier. This morning I went to the gym and did a little more than the usual work out and I survived! Even with my broken toe! I also need to start eating healthier, because I have been drinking way too much soda. Granted, I only drink Diet Coke, but it still has just as much sodium as regular soda and it makes you swell, which is totes gross! lol :) I don't like drinking water as much, but it's gotta be done I guess. So far this week, I have only had one soda a day. I want to continue this to be one soda a week, eventually. You can't really see, but that water is funeral home water.... weird, right?



So, I have also been thinking about how I am going to have to start buying my own groceries soon. Boo! I will probably shop a lot at Target and that little downtown market. They are so cool!

Anyway, right now, I probably should get off and do something productive, like finish the DVDs I could have had done like 2 hours ago.....

Karasyn is picking me up from work and we are going to Boca Mocha! Woop woop!!! We always have fun times! Like in this pic from our friends Caitlin and Ryan's wedding!




Hope your summer is going well!
♪♫ brianna ♪♫

today was good; my bargains and reading list

Today I tagged along with karasyn, her brother and mom to some garage sales and found some good ol' bargains! They ranged everywhere from an old barrel, to a waffle iron, to a shirt for my brother. I spent less than $20 and I got a ton of stuff!! Then we went to Neighborhood (one of our old haunts lol) and now I am at work, anxiously awaiting 9:00 so I can go with my college class downtown to evangelize! I am currently readig this book:



One of my co-workers, Robert, gave it to me and it is a great book if you are needing ways to witness. I am realy enjoying it. It's super short, so you can finish it in a couple of hours. I would like to pass it on when I'm done, so if there are any takers?.....

Anyway, I am spending my evening making my summer reading list, and here it is!

I wanted not only to read some fun fiction, but some classic fiction as well. I have these three classics on hold at the library right now:

1) Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut



2) Slaughterhouse-Five also by Kurt Vonnegut



3) One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez - an author from Columbia, I believe it was that we studied briefly in my college spanish classes.



Then some books, just for fun!

4) Feed by M.T. Anderson -It's a futuristic novel that seems quite interesting!



5) Devil in the White City by Erik Larson - a non-fiction book about the serial killer at the Chicago World's Fair



6) The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel



Well, there are many more that I want to read, but for now, that's all I can handle! :) Wish me luck in finishing them all! Let me know if you have read any or recommend any others!!

Thanks for reading!
♪♫ brianna ♪♫

UGH!

Today I have been in such a bad way. I can't stand my jobs. I need a new one desperately, but I just feel so stuck in the ones I have. I'm stuck in a rut and I hate it! I am sick of being walked all over and taken advantage of. It's like they screw up my schedule just to make having another part time job impossible and then have the nerve to ask me to come in on my days off!!!! I just got a text saying that it would be "helpful" if I came in early today. Well, it would be "helpful" you would stop screwing with my freakin' schedule and give me some days off that I want! I have been wanting Sundays off for a while now, but they won't let me! I have been there for 3 years with no raise, no slack on the schedule and no respect! I'm so done with that freaking job! If I don't have a new job by the end of the summer, I don't know what I'm going to do. I am just in a bad way and not in the mood to deal with crap. I am so upset right now, and I feel like if I get upset then people just think I'm being a big baby and I should just suck it up. Well, I don't want to! I don't want to grow up! I just want to be a kid and not have to worry about bills and money and working. I hate being an adult.