I'm not appologizing for being me

Ok, so this new blog layout is weird to me. I'm not sure if I like the change of Blogger.
I'll tell you what else I don't like. I don't like being judged and I feel at this time that I need to state something important about this blog.

I'm not a career blogger. I'm not going to have sponsors so that I get money for every person who visits my blog. I am not going to change the layout of my posts to post daily about silly DIYs or weekly features. I don't write this blog for the readers. I write it for me.

Don't get me wrong I appreciate readers and people who take the time to read about my life, but I have been a victim of blog drama before and it's so dumb. The internet, I believe, was not meant to be a place for people to pick apart another's words that they put out there, and I definitely don't think you should judge a person based on what they put on the internet. It's extremely rude. But back to the point.

I write this blog so I can get things off my chest, so I can complain here and there, so I can retain my sanity, because my life is hectic and chaotic and crazy.

I'm a pre-med student at Drury University who works two jobs and is involved in church. On top of that I really value the time I have with my family and I also have a social life and hang out with my friends. I have the bestest friend in the world, Karasyn, who I can act completely myself with. And if I can't even write on my own blog without getting personal criticism from perfect strangers, I guess it's time for me to leave the blog world. I don't need this again.

If you don't like what I write, please just exit out and leave me alone. I couldn't care less. I just don't want to read your rude comments. Especially from a chicken who doesn't even have a blog. Weirdo.

Scheduling! :)

So today at exactly 4 o'clock I schedule for next fall's classes. I HAVE to do this at exactly 4 or I won't make it into Physics with Dr. Ojakangas. I really need to be in his class!! Besides this, I am thrilled to schedule. I love being able to pick out my own classes! I love trying to fit all the classes I need into my schedule and see how far along I am in school, and how much I still need. I am actually over half way done (credit-wise) but I still have two years left. Anyway, I am so stinking excited for this summer and this next year!

Here are the classes I'm taking next fall:

General Physics
Biochemistry
Analytical Chemistry + Lab
Service to the Hispanic Community
Concert Choir - yay!
Chamber Orchestra
Drury Quartet!! - I got asked to be in the Drury Quartet yetserday! That means I get an extra $500 scholarship and paid gigs all year!

Well, I gotta go work at the F.H. for a while!! Hope your Friday the 13th was grand!

Here are some random things that are on my mind lately.

- I really hope that Skylar doesn't win American Idol. Last year was the year for country and Scotty McCreery owned it. Skylar didn't and her voice is nasaly. I don't like it. But I love Colton! hehe
- I am so thankful for my wonderful friends at church and that they like to hang out. Expecially my bestest friend, Karasyn, and that we are so close. I am so thankful that we have such similar beliefs and our families get along so well, and that we live so close, and that we still hang out. I can't believe that God has blessed me with such an amazing best friend and I want to be there for her for whatever! Love you girl!! :)
- I am really excited for my life! I am excited for moving on campus next year! I am excited for my new classes! I am excited that in two years I will be planning to move to medical school! I can't believe that I am going to be a doctor in six year!!! Six years ago I was starting high school!! I am excited for what God has planned for me and I have so many things to be thankful for! A lot of people I know are always so excited for the next step in their lives, like getting married, or having a baby and I am just really grateful that I have so many "next steps" left! And of course I'm going to fill you in all the way!
- I have been seriously looking into different medical schools that I want to go to. Right now my number one school is Mizzou. It's close and cheap. I might even be able to still come home on Sundays for church!!! I just want to go where God wants me and right now I feel he's leading me to Mizzou. He has done well so far! Drury is going really well! BUT......


-ONLY 17 DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL!!!! I am really excited for summer and sleepy days and salads and flowers and hopefully shadowing ophthalmologists and possibly a new job!!

-I have been listening to this new album a lot and I suggest you buy it now! It's on iTunes! A Minor Bird by Sucre! only 7.99!!

Well, I now have to study for my organic test tomorrow. Yuck! But the good thing is that it's the LAST ONE OF THE SEMESTER! WOOO! Anyway, I hope everyone is feeling blessed by the Lord today! And Karasyn, I'm sorry I totally copied your blog post. I admit that I am not original in any way! :/

My crazy weekend

So yesterday was Easter, in case you are in a coma and didn't know this fact. I had the most unique ( I will get to that in a minute) pleasure of playing the violin in the band at a different church. I also got to spend the lovely evening with my family and took a well deserved break from homework and such.

So this church. It's like super huge. And everyone there is VERY obsessed with appearances. The band members have strict dress codes and wear the the same thing to every rehearsal like its a show (which I guess it is to them). The band also has to wear these earbuds that have a metronome in it and a creepy voice that cues when to start the songs so that they stay within the same time. Also, we had two 3 hour rehearsals and "performed" 4 times yesterday. Let me just say, that I do not agree with this at all. Church and worship are not to be so obsessed over that you lose sight of its purpose. The purpose of worship is to please God. We are created to worship and worship doesn't come from playing every single note perfect and looking like a rockstar. It comes from your heart and your soul. At one point in rehearsal, the singers were told to "go all out worship-mode this time, cause the cameras are rolling". THIS IS NOT WORSHIP!!! Worship isn't a mode you can just click in an out of. It's supposed to be how we conduct ourselves all the time, always giving glory to God. I have a HUGE problem with this. I agree that practice is a vital part of being in such an ensemble, I mean college praiseband at Broadway practices. We do it so that we can lead others in worship in a way that isn't distracting by playing wrong notes and not being together. Also, we try to wear jeans, just so that our clothing isn't distracting either. I'm telling you, the worship that we had last Wednesday night at Broadway, FAR surpasses any of the rehearsals or "shows" at said church . It just doesn't seem genuine when you are constantly worrying about being with "the click" or how you look when the cameras are on, or if the stupid smoke is going to get in your eyes. It just isn't right. Another thing I just can't explain is the people. I never really feel welcome there. It's like everyone is so wrapped up in how they look, and impressing other people, or bragging about what's going on in their lives that they don't see the people who are there. They seem upitty and superficial. They are very surface-oriented people. Even their prayers show this. When they pray, everyone starts praying outloud together. Some of them cry. Seriously. Like loud, too. The message I got was, look at me, listen to my prayer, I'm more holy than the rest of this church. I hated it. I despised it. The message was shallow at best, too. It grazed the surface of the gospel, but didn't go deep. It is really sad to see the way the Word is preached there. It's watered down, put into terms that don't portray it correctly, and instead of an invitation after being presented with the gospel, the preacher talks for 15 minutes during the alter call, as if to guilt trip you into making a decision that he didn't even cleary explain. The thing I learned about this experience is how in love with my church I am.

WOW! Broadway is so amazing. The gospel is preached accurately and passionately by the most humble yet righteous men of God I have ever seen. The worship is wholesome and honest. The people loving and accepting. I couldn't imagine a better place to call my church home. I never want to take for granted the place that God has brought me to. I grew up Methodist and about two years ago started going to Broadway. Who knew (besides God) that I would become Baptist?! I have learned so much.

So today was a great day to begin my week. My first class was cancelled, tomorrow's lab was cancelled, Thursday's lab was cancelled, stupid SDCO rehearsal was cancelled and my allergies didn't even bother me that much today!!! And how gorgeous was it?!?! I enjoyed a nice lunch at Lucy's while I studied and I think I did pretty good on that test! I hope your day was as good as mine!! And if you are looking for a church, please, please PLEASE come to Broadway!! You will NOT regret it!

What's going on?

Well, I'm glad you asked!

I have been super duper busy lately with school. This weekend I have a take-home test in organic and tonight our discipleship class at church is going to MSU to witness. I'm super stoked and I am excited about how God is going to move in those situations. I haven't had a whole lot of time to blog, but I just wanted to check in. I find it a lot easier to read other peoples' blogs than write my own.

In other news, this morning I walked a 5K at school and survived. My legs hurt pretty bad. I need to start walking all the time cause this sucks. I am no where near in shape. But it was to benefit Isabel's house so it was a good cause!

I will post later on how things go tonight! Hope everyone is having a blessed weekend so far!!
♪♫ brianna ♪♫

All for His glory

So lately I have had a big decision come in my life. I got accepted into the Drury Honors house, but it's very expensive, so I didn't know how I was going to pay for it. So I have had a week to let the lady know my final decision and through this week I prayed that whatever came out of this situation would work to bring glory to God and to further His kingdom. My prayer was that somehow, by living in a house with 5 other people I could witness to them and bring them to church. I do not even know them yet, but I am still so excited. I really want to share the word of God with people.

Anyway, things worked out and I will be living in this house and it's all because of Him. The reason I wanted to post this is because so often I get my hopes up thinking about the things that I want and most of the time they just fall through, but this is the first time I truly felt like I was completely trusting God and it was a very exciting time! I honestly didn't know which way it was going to work out, but it ended up even better than what I thought, and I want to truly trust Him in everything!!!

One thing that I struggle with is being single, but I have gotten a lot better in trusting the Lord. I know that He has a guy for me. How could I doubt the maker of the universe? Anyway, I just pray that my future husband is living for the Lord and that I can be a good wife and for now,  I just want to completey be content with where I am in life right now and trust God 100% :)

On a completely different note, I have a ton of cool ideas for decorating once I move in. This summer is going to be BUSY!!! I love it! Also, this summer I have to really celebrate because I will have survived organic. Phew!!! :)

Have a blessed day!

I'm jumping back on the blogger bandwagon!

My online presence this week has been pretty faint because I was pretty sick Thursday and Friday, therefore missed school, Bible study, work, and now I have to catch up with all those things. Anyway, last Wednesday night David Botts gave the message at our college service at church. He mentioned that a great way to suppliment daily Bible study was to read blogs. Well, blogging is just an old hat for me! But, the thing is, I don't really blog about my faith or walk with God, and how can I even call myself a Christian if I'm not taking steps to furthering His kindgom? And how easy is blogging?! I mean, witnessing is hard. You have to confront people face to face and it can be intimidating (I would like to post more about this later), but blogging is so less scary. SO... I have spent the majority of the morning catching up on my blog reading because a lot of people from church started blogs, and now I feel it's my turn to jump on the bandwagon. A great place to start, I guess, is my testimony, and it will probably sound much like a lot of other peoples', so please bear with me and I promise things will get much more interesting later.

First off, let me tell you that I currently am a member at Broadway Baptist Church and it's just about the coolest church on the planet! BUT, I didn't grow up Baptist. My whole family is Methodist. We have ALWAYS went to church every Sunday and, although Methodists don't usually have Wednesday night services, we were at church because my family was always very involved. My grandpa was the choir director and my aunt was the pianist. We were just always at church. Well, we went to this old old church called St. Luke United Methodist Church and when I was in 2nd grade I got to go to church camp for the first time. They had an invitation at the end of the weekend and I was curious, but I didn't get up. When I got home I asked my mom about it and I got saved. From that point I tried reading the Bible and learning things about God that I didn't know, but seriously how much in depth was I going to go? I was like 8 years old! So I guess my perception of Christian life from that point was that I got saved, now I'm a Christian, now as long as I don't do bad things and go to church and get involved, I'll go to heaven when I die. So I lived that way all through middle school and even the first part of high school. I just got really involved in church and was a good kid and I thought that was all there was to it. Well, like everyone, I had times where I wasn't as faithful as I should have been. I hung out with some people who called themselves Christians, but I knew they weren't the same kind of person I was, but I never really knew how. They just did things that I didn't think were right. Well, once I got out of that situation (which could very well be another blog post for another day), I got really close to my bestest friend in the entire world, Karasyn Lindsey. At this point, I was attending Antioch United Methodist Church and was super duper involved, but there were only two other people my age and they were both boys, so I didn't have many peers to relate to. I sat during the sermons and paid attention and took notes even, but at the end, I couldn't tell you the theme of the sermon or even where you could find the premise in the Bible. So I started visiting my friends' churches. The first was my friend Melissa and then Karasyn. Well, Karasyn went to Broadway Baptist, which was close to my house and I knew a ton of people there and after visiting only a couple times, I felt very welcome. Not awkward at all, but I was sooo involved at my church and felt trapped in that. I was literally going to church only to run the sound board or sing in the choir, but not to hear God's word at all. I didn't want to let the people in the church down, which is a terrible spot to be in.

So finally, my senior year,  I got an offer at my job to get some extra hours in on Sunday and I needed the money pretty bad so I did it. It was the perfect excuse to get out of all this work at church. So every other week I worked at the funeral home and went to the evening service at Broadway, then on my off weeks, I went to the early service at Broadway, but still went to my parents' church. This went on for a couple of months, until I started working every single Sunday. At this point I was going to Broadway exclusively on Sundays and then on Wednesdays going to the college class, because I had just begun my freshman year of college. Drew asked me to play keys in the college praise band and I said yes. I wasn't even a member at this church and I was already leading worship? I wasn't even Baptist!! I mean, yeah, I was a born again Christian, but Methodists and Baptists are pretty different. God worked on my heart a lot that fall and winter and finally in Febraury I decided to join Broadway. I was really scared because my family is really close and I wasn't sure how they would take the news that not only was I not going to their church anymore, but I was changing denominations.

Well, my parents supported me in my decision, and although my grandparents were sad to see me leave their church, they were proud that I was making a decision for my own faith. So I have been at Broadway almost 2 years now and I have loved every minute of it. I have made a ton of friends, but most importantly I have really grown spiritually because the leaders there truly teach God's word, no if's, and's, or but's. So that's where I am at right now, and although there is way more to this story, I'm cutting it off now, because you are probably snoring by now. ;)