In the throes of...... homework?

Tonight is the first night of the semester that I am officially working hard. Today has been productive/frustrating/not bad/weird.

This morning went by smoothly, except for the fact that I have a Zoology quiz tomorrow and an Organic test Wednesday. Whew. I have my work cut out for me, and yet I'm sitting here blogging. I discovered today that I have lost my passion  for school. I used to thrive on getting good grades and trying to be the best at things. Don't get me wrong, I love the feeling of getting an A, but I just feel like I have lost that drive. I don't want to sit around studying, I don't really enjoy classes, and I especially hate studying for tests. Also, I have found myself totally content in sucking at the violin. BUT! The good news is that I think I have also discovered the reason for this. In high school and even last year, I was pretty much a loner, except for the people that I chose to be with. Now, I feel trapped by other people, and I long to be that loner again. I was never competitive with other people. I just don't roll that way. I have only ever competed with myself, and now that other people are involved, instead of stepping it up, I back off. Like trying to just let them think that they are winning. It just makes me shut down, intellectually. I just don't work well that way, and never have. I hope I can either step up my game, or find a way to get rid of these people.

On a much happier note, all I have been able to think about this week is DISNEY WORLD!!!!! :D I will probably post on this later, but right now I have studying to do!