i'm sorry i'm not outstanding at anything. i'm sorry that i'm content in being mediocre. i'm sorry that i wasn't born into a perfect, prodigenous, famous or rich family. i'm sorry i'm just an average everyday person. i'm sorry i have to make sacrifices and they aren't the ones you would like me to make. i'm sorry i can't, i just can't, please everyone. and in the process of trying to i can't even please myself.
this day went from being pretty good and productive to sucky and terrible. just like that. i know i shouldn't, but i would sometimes like to get a little bit of recognition for the things i do. no i don't need to be awarded or whatever, and maybe i'm just being a baby, but i put a lot of work into things and i just get a little too jealous of people who do get recognition. maybe it's just attention. i have attention issues. i always like to be in the middle of the spotlight i guess. well, it's life. i just don't know what's going on in praise band right now. i took one week off and i feel like drew is questioning my intentions now. i wish he would just tell me why he's acting like this. i wouldn't have asked what time i needed to be there if i didn't want to be. UGH!!!! i'm so frustrated. i wish i could just get away. sometimes i feel like nobody would miss me anyway.
i'm really nothing. i'm nobody's anything. i can't do this anymore. i can't try to please everyone or try to impress people or even try to compete with people. i have to just be myself and be happy with who i am and i think that's the kicker. sometimes i just repulse myself. like today, i have no ambition to study or do anything. i just want to crawl into a little ball and sleep forever. and it makes me sick. it makes me sick that i could be great at things, but i'm not because i don't try. i hate this wretched feeling. i hate feeling worthless and useless.
i just want to be somebody!!! anybody but myself, today.
4 comments:
hi, i'm a complete stranger that clicked a random coloured dot on www.wefeelfine.com and got sent to your blog and i just felt like telling you that it freaked me out how when i was reading your blog it was like reading my own thoughts :S
Oh girl me too. I am feeling you on this one. Don't let dumb people getcha down. You know you're good enough or you wouldn't be playing with famous people bading!
Brianna?
Don't think this of yourself!
annnnd, when you say that you aren't anybodys anything, you are so wrong, because you are my BEST FRIEND!!
I think that this is just that time of the year when all the pressures of school get to you, and you just don't wanna do anything.
You are AWESOME don't ever forget it!
Blogs should have like buttons so I can like karasyn's comment. You're talented. Even if you don't see it, it's there. Believe in yourself dearie :)
Post a Comment