lonely

i have a very lonely job. i sit around by myself most days. doing computer work. most of the time i like my job. today i am not very fond of it. i have messed up things lot lately, not just with my job. like, why do i always keep my feelings to myself? i do that way too much. and then i can't tell anyone. sometimes i feel so lonely.  like no one wants to be with me. i hate feeling like this and i know it's not true, but i can't seem to let myself think otherwise.

i hate saturday nights. i really do. i'm stuck by myself while everyone else is out having a grand old time with their friends and significant others. saturday night, you suck. sundays are not too bad, but i have to work all day and can't go to church on sunday mornings. oh well, gotta do what you gotta do, i guess. at least i can go to church.

so, i have been kind of an emotional wreck today. ugh....

so school starts this week. i think i am ready. i hate being bored and alone all the time. i'm kind of sick of life today. if you can't tell. i'm sorry, for being so negative, but really. what do i have to be positive for? nothing, really. or at least today i don't. i'm going to get off of here before i bash my head in. ugh. maybe tomorrow will be better.