i really want to....but

have you ever really wanted to do something so bad? you knew you needed to? for your own good? for the good of others? ..................................BUT.

that word. that wretched word. But, you just can't bring yourself to it. there are a million reasons why you can't. maybe you're afraid of what might happen. maybe you aren't ready. you are unsure of what's to come and you like to be IN CONTROL. you want things to go your way and letting go will show WEAKNESS and VULNERABILITY. well, in the Lord we have control and are strong. i need to surrender to the Lord, completely. I have control issues. I like to know what's going on and I can't stand to be "out of the loop." I only wish I knew where He was going with this. I feel lost, afraid, unsure, irritated, cheated, and most of all, alone. I know that I shouldn't, but in my weakness, I am strong.


That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:10