Feelings.....????

ok....here's the deal. i have like a million and one different feelings running in my head right now... and they are all about different things too.

1st- I am really proud of everyone in the musical and proud of myself. I am so childish sometimes i make my self puke. I threw a ginormous, childish, and utterly ridiculous fit about not having a microphone. Yeah. I didnt have a microphone. I waited four years and never got one. I thought I wasnt important enough for one, but the thing is i stressed out over nothing. I was loud enough. I had a great time with everyone and i know this is selfish, but I was astoundedby all of the compliments i got. This is the thing....I doubted my abilities and I thought I wasnt good enough, I thought i needed compliments when really I just needed to be confident in myself. In turn I just became arrogant. So I had to come back to earth and I think that getting sick constitutes coming back to earth.

2nd- I am sad/happy/relieved/regretful about the musical being over. I am sad because it is possibly the last production i will ever do in highschool, happy because i have my life back, relieved that i can sleep now, and regretful because i waited til the last minute to realize that i love some of these kids. i really love them.

3rd- i am extremely confused about what school im going to next year.... i am just not even goin to talk about it cause i am stressed about that enough.

4th- I have people in my life that have GIANT issues that I cant solve but i have been praying for a while. I also want dakotah to know that even though things ended quickly wih you i hope you dont give up on everything. Dont place all that faith in one person, because even though I love this person just as much or more than you do, people will fail. I do, you do, we all do. God is theonly one in this life whom you can completely trust, so trust him to lead you through life and chose the right one. Because I know you are a great person and i love you. Just know that God has everything plannd for you. Oh! I cant wait for it to be just us in concert band :)

So last but CERTAINLY not least- I have been really descouraged in the whole relationship area, but like i said before, i want to trust in god that he will bring me the right person( AKA matt cox :))

Well, I really should go home and do english home work. I love you all!!!!!!!!!!